A letter to me… things I wish I knew this time last year

Dear Me,

I know you better than anyone. I have been there through all of the tears, tantrums and the trauma. I have listened to all of your fears, helped fix your anxieties and encouraged you to stay positive. We have been partners in crime through all the good times and I have been both the angel and the devil on your shoulders. Entering the ‘real’ world outside of school may seem scary now but, as always, everything will work itself out. Trust me you’re about to have a ball.

You have just finished your A-Levels and finally, although incredibly untimely, sent off your UCAS application for University. Sixth Form prom is around the corner and before you know it you will be off on your first girls holiday to Benidorm!

I know the prospect of Uni scares you. I have witnessed the incessant internal battle asking yourself if you’re ready to leave home and commit to a life in Reading or Southampton, maybe even Kent, but I am pleased you have decided to fulfill your childhood dream and have chosen a London university. You can stay at home and commute but be prepared for countless train journeys carrying your sleeping bag and going out clothes! By the end of first year you will have mastered the art of falling asleep on the train and waking up at your stop on the way home the day after the night before. Ignore all of those teachers who question your decision, only you know what is best for you (apart from your Mum, as proven she is always right).

The prospect of leaving the cocoon of school that has shielded you from the real world for 18 years is one that fills you with undeniable fear. You have finally found your feet by Year 13 and now you are going to have to do it again without the comfort of the familiar faces you have grown to love, some of them at least. This struggle for your feet would not have been complete without battles with mean girls, arguments and the discovery of a world with boys. Despite mixing with new people throughout school you have inevitably gravitated back to the same group of friends, give or take few, that you had been with since Primary.

Now you have never been very good with dealing with failure. Throughout school you have had a tricky relationship with failure, your undeniable hate towards it is unhelpful. Always try your best, that is all you can ask, and sometimes you might just miss the mark but that is okay. Failure is essential in order for you to grow. I have learnt that now, don’t get me wrong we still get frustrated if we miss a first by 1 mark or get the occasional 2:2 but we dont dwell on what could have been we just try and fix what is.

Your comfort within current friendships is the prospect of leaving school that scares you the most. The contrast from seeing your friends everyday to making time to have frequent catch ups is evident and it is will be a struggle to keep up with everyones busy schedules. You frequently hear stories about how friendships change, you will soon learn that some friendships grow with you but some grow in opposite directions. Just remember the ones who matter most are the ones who will stay close and when you meet up it will be as if you have never been apart. Change is scary but it is necessary to help us find our place. You are about to meet some amazing people whilst really appreciating what you already have, just embrace it.

So just be excited, I know you are already but let it grow. Just get ready to be yourself, shine and sparkle.

Lots of love,

Sophialafelle Xx

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